I have been absent and silent for a while, and it's largely just that I am tapped out. While this week was better than last week, which was filled with anxiety, I've just been.....uninspired, I guess. I don't feel like cooking, knitting, reading, or generally doing anything other than sitting. And it's not that summer is going away- as much as I love summer, I love fall more. I think it's partly just that I'm stuck in one gear and can't seem to manage to shift into the next. The engine revs, then stalls, then....we don't go much of anywhere. Ya know?
Work's been busier than I anticipated due to some unexpected things happening, so I need to shift gears there, from normal keep-it-going mode into do-two-jobs-and-hire-and-train mode. It's not going all that well; I got stuck at work late last night and worked at home after Charlotte went to bed the night before. One of my goals today is to establish some limits during this temporary crazy-making time and to stick to them. Ha. Easier said than done.
I guess I am kind of looking around me at all the things that need my attention, and one word goes through my head: triage. Do what absolutely has to be done to stop the bleeding, handle the situations at work that could escalate before they do, take care of what needs to be done at home.....make it home in time for dinner or at least to kiss the kidlet good night before she falls asleep. Bed before midnight, or at least shortly thereafter. Monday through Friday is a blur.
I'm glad today is Friday. The extra perk of our visit to CT this weekend (aside from the obvious one of seeing the family!) is that there will be no working. The laptop and blackberry will sit in the house. I will be 180 miles away. This is good.
And who knows? Maybe if Pete and I can get our act together and get our new stove and couch into the house, I might feel more inspired to reshape our surroundings into what we want them to be before winter....which was the whole impetus in the giant "buy new stuff" trip we had Sunday. That, and not filling the house with smoke when we use the oven.
Time to go and wake everyone up....