Thursday, January 31, 2008


It's a much better day today...I did manage to get a good night's sleep on my clean sheets, and wow. I actually felt rested this morning! The morning was somewhat relaxed- as much as it can be getting myself and a three year old ready- and I noticed an impossibly blue sky as I settled Lou into the car to head to school. She was happy to see her friends and sat down with markers, paper and scissors to make stuff.

I had a peaceful drive down to Salem this morning, drinking coffee and scanning through radio stations. Heard a great song on FNX: Catherine Wheel and Tanya Donnelly doing "Judy Staring at the Sun," which I haven't heard in forever. It reminded me of being in college and discovering new things- music, places, ideas.

Work is going along today, nothing unusual or too stressful, although I did get news that one of my favorite colleagues in Academics will be leaving us next week. She is one of those people who is truly here for the students, and is always really team-focused. She's always good for a funny story or for ensuring that those who do extra work or handle a tough situation get acknowledged, which is sadly rare here. I will miss her terribly, and I think the place will be worse for her departure, but better for her tenure here.

Here's a picture of Lou. Not from today, but because it's fun:

She had her annual checkup on Tuesday....33 lbs and 37 inches tall, right on track! She actually grew 2 1/2 inches in the last year, such a big girl. She also had her first vision and hearing tests (using the eye chart and the little beeping machine) and was agreeable to that. All is good, although she is quite disappointed that she doesn't get to wear glasses like me and Pete. I was so proud that she was able to wait so patiently- the exam room was hot as blazes and I think there were more sick patients than they expected because we were there forever. I could hear a baby crying in another exam room and remember all too vividly the days of more frequent checkup visits and vaccinations and crying....I used to nurse Lou to calm her after her shots, and I remember that so vivdly too. It seemed so long ago.

Later that night, as Lou was fighting bedtime, I sat beside her bed and stroked her hair and face as she drifted off. It's only when she sleeps now that I see a strong connection between this fierce, beautiful little person and the baby I rocked and nursed and changed. My heart swelled, and I hoped that I will have a chance to go through it all again....

Wednesday, January 30, 2008


It's been a while. I really, truly am a giant slacker. The only excuse I have: winter. I have been in what a friend of mine calls "hibernation mode". I think my hibernation mode may be more quiet and insulated than hers, but hey. Everything is relative, right? Right.

Not much going on....Pete's been fighting off the same cold again and again, despite Zicam, getting plenty of sleep and eating well. Lou has been adjusting to life as a big kid in the preschool room. Her adjustment means we are back in bedtime hell: it's either a struggle when she goes to bed or she gets up stoopid early in the morning. Ack. This too shall pass, but is no fun.

And me? Well, I am tired. Work is at best dull and at worst frustrating and stressful. I had three terrible tension headaches (two of them migraines) over a 10 day period (also not conducive to blog posting). Have I mentioned that winter is not the best time of year for me? Um, yeah. Wake me up in April.

I've been mulling over a post I read recently, about goals/aspirations vs. a to-do list. I am the queen of the To-Do list. I come by it honestly; I can remember my dad and his little notepads with destinations and tasks noted neatly. I truly don't remember when I started making lists, only that I too carry a small notebook filled with everything from grocery lists to web account passwords to last week's errands. I've become more reliant on the list of the moment since becoming a mother; there are only so many things I can remember at any given time.

I think it is too easy to get bogged down in what needs to be done, or as PW says, "we humans....sure know how to complicate life". This week I decided to make my usual list, but to also make a list of goals.

Well. It's now Wednesday....I thought I had set some attainable goals but I am in the same rut. Feeling too tired to get on the treadmill, too lazy to get stuff done around the house, too grouchy to make phone calls. Here are some goals for today that I can manage, I think:
  • Fun with Lou again tonight. Last night we did marching band around and around the house, played dollhouse (I always have to be the brother, and he is not allowed to sleep in the bed or play with any of the toys) and tucked all the babies in before getting our jammies on. We also read all about how Pippi Longstocking went to school for a day.
  • Quiet time relaxing with Pete. I was out at Craft Night Monday, and he had jeep bluc stuff to take care of last night, so we could use some time together just hanging out. Maybe even a movie: I got King Kong and Zodiac from the library, and we have the 5th Harry Potter.
  • Clear off the kitchen table. There is so much junk (bills, junk mail etc) on it that I feel my will to live draining when I look at it.
  • Change the sheets. I haven't been sleeping well; I always sleep like a baby on brand-new sheets. Little things, you know?

I'll report back tomorrow on how I did. I know you will be on the edge of your seat!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Sleeping vs. knitting

I did not end up going in to work yesterday....there was not enough going on to warrant it. Instead, we all got into our jammies and hunkered down once Pete was done with the snowblowing. After Lou went to bed, I settled in with a glass of wine, my cabled mitts and this: I was only going to watch the second disc (just over 2 hours), but between the knitting and the story I was up way past my bedtime. So good.....Damian Lewis is absolutely brilliant. The characters are so wonderfully complex and the costumes are just amazing. I am a sucker for period pieces, much to Pete's chagrin.

Now I am tired! And I am here at work for the evening term start. Oh well, it's only one day. Lou had a good morning and was excited to be going to the new classroom. Ella was psyched to see her.

Now to get out into the sunshine for a bit!

Monday, January 14, 2008

More snow

1:15 pm

3:30 pm

Pete should be home soon. Then it's off to work (I am taking the Smashmobile). Wonder if any students will show for the term start?

Snow day (but not for me)

We are in the process of getting around a foot of snow here. Upwards of 600 cancellations here in NH....but I will have to head into work at some point today. Lou and I are home, since her daycare did not open. We've been keeping busy- a bit of TV, some lunch, and some painting on her new easel from Memere and Poppa.

I have been amusing myself "measuring" the snow and considering the ridiculousness of my trip to Portsmouth later this afternoon. Here's our yard and driveway at 9 am:

And at 11 am:

Lou is still recovering from being sick, I think- she's fairly tired and a bit grouchy. Perhaps a nap is in order. Perhaps Mama needs one too....then playtime in the snow!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Birthday pictures

The NoBer and HF Nasons (minus Grumpa, who got stuck at work) came over for pizza and cake. Yay!

Decorating the cake

Cousins on the loose! Molly plays the Kazoozamaphone (no lie, that's what it's called)

Lou opens gifts. Lucky girl!

Aunt Bethy
Look closely. You will see tired Ella.

Aunt Sri holds a noisy baby

Happy Birthday to Lou...

Hey! I'm talkin' here!

The family....we eat, we drink, we talk. A lot. Also, small girls love Uncle Phil. He's fun.

Huge shout-out to the Nason clan. Although it was a last-minute kind of party (since Lou has been sick we really couldn't plan), you all came....we love you!

Friday, January 11, 2008


Sylvia Plath wrote these words ("Morning Song") on the birth of her daughter:

Love set you going like a fat gold watch.
The midwife slapped your footsoles, and your bald cry
Took its place among the elements.

Our voices echo, magnifying your arrival. New statue.
In a drafty museum, your nakedness
Shadows our safety. We stand round blankly as walls.

I'm no more your mother
Than the cloud that distils a mirror to reflect its own slow
Effacement at the wind's hand.

All night your moth-breath
Flickers among the flat pink roses. I wake to listen:
A far sea moves in my ear.

One cry, and I stumble from bed, cow-heavy and floral
In my Victorian nightgown.
Your mouth opens clean as a cat's. The window square

Whitens and swallows its dull stars. And now you try
Your handful of notes;
The clear vowels rise like balloons.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Poor Lou

Miss Lou has been home the past two days. She's got some kind of coughing/fever bug that is knocking the stuffing out of her. Poor kitten.

Yesterday she had tiny bursts of energy, where she played with puzzles or put all of her dolls on a blanket on the floor ("They're having a picnic, Mama.") She spent most of the day on the couch with her many babies. Today has been much the same- although she did play trains with her daddy for a while, she ran out of steam and is sniffling miserably on the couch with a blanket.

I always thought, when she had colds or whatever as a baby, that it would be so much easier once she could talk and tell me what was wrong. Nope. There isn't that helpless wailing, but it's been replaced (in this case, anyway) by a sad whimpering and lethargy. Sometimes it's still hard to know when to take her to the doctor, when to just keep her at home, when to have her go to school knowing that it's just a little cold. That's motherhood though, isn't it? Learning, learning, hoping that you don't make too many big horrible mistakes.

She'll be fine. Tomorrow she'll probably head back to school, for her first full day in the "big kids' room", armed with her spare socks and underwear and her birthday cupcakes. But for today, she's my sad, sick baby, who will snuggle with me but insist upon wiping her own nose.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Love your local businesses

In browsing through the local news site, I found this article:

Hat company grows fast in South Berwick

It's really a pleasure doing business with the Little Hat Company (thanks Beth, for the info!), and it's great to see them getting some props. Lou's hat from Santa may resemble hats that are sold there....and I may be going back for some simple but beautiful paintings of animals for the great Lou Bedroom Revamp.

Good stuff!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Primary Day

Well, we cast a vote for the good guys. No sticker, though. Shouldn't there be one that says, "My mama and I voted today"? I could swear I've seen them before....even one of these would have been nice:

As we left the polling place, I asked Lou, "So what do you think? Is voting good?" She said no, because it was icy walking in and she fell. So there it is: voting is only good if you don't fall.

Monday, January 07, 2008

You are old, Mama Lolo

Today pretty much sucked the life out of me. You would think that I might have learned from my academic experiences (long ago though they are) not to procrastinate. But no. Thus I spent all day today working on stuff I do not like- personnel evals. No bueno.

I left work late- 7:00- and grouchy. But the most wonderful thing happened: 2 miles from home I thought of my Lou, and my man, and I felt better. Lucky, even. Even though all I could do for the first 15 minutes I was home was to smile stupidly at them. No matter what, I am a mother and a wife and that is everything.

Lou has had her bath and is singing away upstairs. Pete's on the phone with a friend we've been out of touch with for a while. I'm drinking a beer and ignoring the fact that my back and shoulders ache. Tomorrow is another day, and it will be a better one, I know.

Here's Breakfast Lou:

And me with my new scarf

More glamour shots of the beauteous scarf (it's all the yarn, people, I am just the conduit)

I still fear the lace. I didn't block this aggressively enough- should be more open, and you should see the leaves- but as it is the thing is 72"x6".

What else? Well, tomorrow is
All right, so it's not, it's the primary. And maybe after tomorrow, these people:

And these people:

will stop calling my house!

Lou and I will be voting....maybe they'll even give us a sticker.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Make hay while the sun shines

...or, blog while you have time.

More from the lace scarf in progress. After soaking:
I gently pressed the water out, then brought it upstairs, for stretching and pinning:

I have a big cardboard mat, marked for measuring and cutting, that my mom gave me years and years ago. I covered it with plastic bags, then old bath towels. I used quilter's pins....and pinned and pinned and...ugh.

So now I wait. I hope it dries before bedtime tonight. I'll think about that later.


Oh, January. It's cold (wind chills below zero this week), there are Christmas tree needles all over my house, and I lack motivation. There was more Christmas to write about- we had a great time at the Flatbread Company and later our house with our Nason peeps the Saturday before New Years....somehow all the pictures I took of our Nason gathering disappeared and that sort of took the wind out of me. It was great to have everyone in one place, eating and talking and drinking and opening presents. We've decided to make the gifts for each other next year, so we all picked a name that night. This way we each have a whole year to construct gifts. It should be lots of fun...

New Years was at the Littlefield-Gouds, then carting a tired Lou home way past her bedtime. Pete and I were in bed before midnight, and he barely stayed awake till then. New Years Day we had lunch over at the McGough's, since they were back from Florida. We watched the snow fall (and fall), the kids played and later we watched the Wizard of Oz. It was a good quiet end to the vacation for me and Lou.

It's been a short week but sort of long, with adjusting to being back. Nothing terrible, just getting used to being on a timetable again etc etc.

So. Here are some happy things:

Lou playing with her puzzles yesterday. She has grown so much lately, it is hard to reconcile this small person with the baby we brought home from the hospital almost three years ago. She will begin the preschool program (3-5 year olds) on the 14th, and I am just so proud.

My current project. This is my first real foray into lace knitting. I have really been soothed by the beautiful colors as they pass through my hands, although it has been challenging. Or as Pete says, "Are you going to work on your swearing project again?" The yarn is Koigu Premium Painter's Palette merino, sock weight. I would be embarrassed by how much it cost, but hell. You only live once. And if I do get another go-round, I'll probably opt to come back as a goat (thus no knitting).

Today I block the lace, so I'll post more later. I think Pete and Eric may be taking the girls sledding today, so perhaps I'll have a bit of time to myself. Whatever shall I do? Some ideas:

  • Long walk
  • Start my next project (those cabled fingerless mitts)
  • Grocery shopping, alone
  • Library?

We shall see......