The darkness outside the windows when the alarm sounded this morning didn't surprise me. Why would it? This is the time of year, and to be honest I gladly trade daylight in the early morning for daylight in the evening. I was even cheerful about the time change yesterday, feeling as though it's a true sign that spring really is just around the corner. Despite the chill in the air, I crawled out of the warm flannel nest and headed off to start the day- coffee, stretching, treadmill.
Maybe that's where it started.
Everything has just been so damn difficult today, and it's only 9:00. I ended up feeling squashed by the exercise rather than energized. I had to wake everyone else in the house up a bit later than usual, which didn't make for happy people. Truthfully, all of the annoyances today have been just that- petty annoyances, nothing to get fussed about- and still my frustration threshold is really really low today. I drove to Portsmouth thinking about all of the things I didn't get done yesterday, thinking about the work week and things that I don't want to do (as in, major presentation to regional management, sort of a defend-your-life kind of thing, which I am co-presenting with my boss, who has in turn not shared anything he's written with me) and thinking about how badly I could use some time off. The more I think, the more frustrated and irritable I become.
And still it rains. The wind blows the sheets of rain sideways, and the roads resemble what sailors look for on the surface of a body of water. I get wet getting cash from the ATM, wetter getting in and out of the car to pick up cough and cold medicine at the pharmacy. I have plans to meet a friend for lunch downtown today, and know that I will be wetter still after that.
I can put all this into perspective...things can always be worse, you know? We didn't lose power again, the cellar is wet but not flooded, I have a job....today I just do not have the psychic energy to put on the happy face. I am having a bad morning, and I own that.
And I know that tomorrow will be better. I refuse to have the same day two days in a row.